At the end of yesterday’s (5/28/06) show, we heard a soundbite in which Oprah explains the secret of her success, more of that pseudo-spiritual, incomprehensible crap about living in the same space as God or some such rubbish, and then I told you about watching her visit Auschwitz with Elie Wiesel. It was a very compelling show, but as usual, we come to find out even the Holocaust isn’t as significant as the Oprah herself. I described this billboard, but hearing about it doesn’t allow you to appreciate the absurdity of the image: the word “Auschwitz” and all that word conveys juxtaposed with a beaming headshot of the most important human being on earth. Look at that smiling face! Who knew Auschwitz could be so much fun! It’s bizarre and offensive, and it reminds us once again that no matter the issue, it’s always all about Oprah. And this Marcia Z. Nelson babe thinks she’s the new Billy Graham. Yeah right.

As I’ve said many times, this is a great country, so great that even a former newsreader like Oprah who couldn’t pass Econ 101 at gunpoint (withess that nauseating show in which she told all of us that we should feel guilty because some people make the minimum wage) can accumulate more money than God. Why? Because of the sacrifices of those brave, committed, selfless men and women past and present who defend freedom. On this Memorial Day, I want to say thanks again to the members of the military and their families. It’s a little ironic that Oprah would scold all of us for not valuing those who the really important jobs, since if we did pay people based on what they contribute to society, she’d be scrounging for bus fare, and every single member of the military would have 10 or 15 houses or however the heck many she has.

Only one thing was missing: She should have taken Anderson Cooper and John Travolta With her.

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