I don’t have to tell any of you my thoughts about Barack Hussein Obama, or as I have called him at various times, He Who Walks on Water, Mr. Not Ready for Prime Time, the Second Coming of Jimmy Carter or the Jed Clampett of White Guilt, but this morning when I heard Chris Cuomo on “Good Morning America” ask him what was a bigger obstacle to his election, the Clinton machine or America’s inherent racism, I wondered if Gov. Cuomo’s son hadn’t swerved into something. I reject the notion that there is inherent racism in America today, and if there is, it’s the kind that does nothing but benefit the likes of Barack Obama; that is, white guilt and the desire of some white liberals to bend over backwards to prove that they aren’t racists. The Clintons aren’t part of that group. They are the typical elitist white libs whose worst nightmare is blacks off their plantation. So shouldn’t Chris have asked about the inherent racism in the Clinton machine?

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You know me, I’m always here to help a sister, even one who puts her pants on one leg at a time like any other guy, namely Hillary Clinton.

When she realized that, once again, that big ole’ lovable hound dog of a husband of her’s had gotten off the porch, although granted, not in the usual way, at that supermarket in Iowa, I decided to offer a few suggestions, one veteran wife to another. I mean who among us hasn’t given that “where in the heck is he NOW look?” Usually it’s because he’s wandered off in the electronics store, not because like, Bill Clinton, we can’t find him at one of our personal appearances, or because he’s not behind his desk in the Oval Office (have you checked that little room off the Oval Office, BTW?)

Hill, have you ever considered one of those kid leashes for Bubba that have become popular in recent years? Granted, for your boy, you might need something a little more rugged. I did see some electrified collars at Petsmart. Or was it Petco …? An aside: Hillary, maybe now you’ve got a little more compassion for that girl that looked like Ernie from “My Three Sons,” Lindie England. It’s not so easy to control these dawgs, is it?

Speaking of our canine friends, as you know, I love dogs and have two of the adorable creatures, both rescued from shelters, one 90-something pounds, and the other an ~60 pound pit bull. I walk them on a partner leash, which means I am controlling potentially squirrel-chasing doggage that outweighs me by approximately 35 pounds. How do I do it? I make it clear that I am the alpha bitch, of course. That shouldn’t be hard for you.

When in doubt, I say go back to what worked for our grandmothers. My great-grandmother was famous within the family for never hesitating to hop out of her buggy and take a whip to anyone she saw violating the societal norms of the day, usually errant teenage boys picking on some innocent girl by trying to chase her and pull her pigtails. That might be a tad retro, but I still have my grandmother’s rolling pin, which I use to roll out the perfect piecrust (thanks, Grandma), but which I’m told can be used on husbands who have forgotten that they are supposed to be at their wives’s sides, especially when those wives are running for president.

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I was delighted, but of course not at all surprised when brilliant Wall Street Journal writer Dorothy Rabinowitz echoed my comments from a couple of weeks ago about ABC’s “The View” over the weekend, even citing the same episode of what is at best a pointless waste of time and is at worst an attempt to turn every housewife in America into a soldier in the service of socialism. Like me, she appreciates the show for its “I can’t stop staring—-I can’t help it!” appeal, and also understands that if you need a little jaw drop mid-morning, there’s no better place to find it.

This morning’s episode was outstanding, starting with Barbara Walters’ displaying some of the celebrity Christmas cards she has received, including a truly nauseating “The Brady Bunch” parody from the repulsive Joan Lunden, with her in the center of a constellation of the human trout farm she calls a family.

Then Whoppi Goldberg lamented the absence of black people in Billy Graham’s large family, not even a “joke” black person, as she put it, inspiring Barbara Walters to say inexplicably “maybe next year’s card” to which Whoppi replied even more mysteriously “I hope so. C’mon, honey. Let’s have some fun.” Then, perhaps remembering that Billy Graham is one of the most beloved people in America, and that making one of her crude double entrendre remarks about him or any 80-something, recently widowed victim of Parkinson’s might not be the best choice, Whoppi turned suddenly serious and said “He’s actually quite a wonderful man. I like him very much.” Cringeometer moment.

During a conversation about something Rush Limbaugh supposedly said–a provocative comment about whether the American public wants to watch a woman age in the White House, Barbara speculated that Indira Gandhi got assassinated because—are you ready for this?—she wasn’t sexy. Seriously. Here’s the context. Supposedly refuting Rush’s assertion–which I’m just saying here for the sake of argument because, as I said, I didn’t hear the show, and I don’t trust these babes to report it accurately–BW listed several other women leaders who were not sex symbols, and who people seemed to not mind watching get older, such as Margaret Thatcher and Golda Meir. Then she said this:

“Then Indira Gandhi. She took office at 48, left at 59. Took office again at 62. She was assassinated at 66, maybe ‘cause she wasn’t sexy-I don’t know, but I mean c’mon.”

Why is this demented, Castro-loving hag still on television? So she can try to get lucky with Hugo Chavez? She wants to masquerade as some sort of serious journalist by constantly copping this ridiculous, risible “I don’t express opinions about politics” routine on the show, most recently when actor Dennis Leary appeared on today’s show and referred to Rush Limbaugh as “fat, stupid, Viagra-eating.” No, he didn’t finish this phrase, along with several others, including one in which he expressed his disgust with having “white men,” who have screwed it up run this country. No, he could barely finish a sentence, but he did say that in addition to the racial test for president, he wants someone who “speaks well” and isn’t a “moron” like President Bush. I think I’m beginning to understand why this writers’ strike is a big deal.

As for Ms. Walters, Barb, babe, we get enough humor from you when you try to pretend to not be a lefty groupie. Don’t try the comedy. It’s not for amateurs.

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Once again the walking embarrassment otherwise known as the senior senator from Illinois, Richard “Eddie Haskell” Durbin and his fellow 5th column members in the democrat party are bemoaning the President’s outrageous and contemptible determination to put preventing another 9/11 ahea of protecting to “civil rights” of our murderous enemies. In a reprise of his infamous “our troops are Nazis” speech in June, 2005, Durbin took to the Senate floor to denounce the CIA for destroying tapes of the enhanced interrogations of two headchopping fanatics and to proclaim this act the second coming of Watergate, to the delight of the echoing ‘amen’ chorus of the usual media imbeciles. This behavior isn’t the least bit surprising (although it was particularly offensive on the 66th anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor), but it does raise a few interesting questions; specifically:

Aren’t Dick Durbin and the rest of his traitorous group of liberals the same people who were yapping about the contemptible “outing” of desk jockey Valerie Plame and the vicious campaign to destroy her and her “whistleblower” husband, the preening, prevaricating pantload Joe Wilson? Now suddenly they are demanding investigations into why the CIA was protecting the identities of its agents?

Is there any doubt but that Barack Hussein Obama agrees with the man who introduced him at the 2004 Dem convention, inducing Barry to utter the cringe-inducing “Thank you, Dick Durbin. You make us all proud?” If he can tear himself away from the Oprah long enough this weekend, perhaps he could confirm that fact, not that any of the afore-mentioned media weasels will ask him about that. Still, wouldn’t it be great if Mr. “Voted Present When the Issue’s Too Hot” did get asked that question?

Speaking of evasive politicians, when Hillarita is campaigning this weekend with Bubba, perhaps someone could ask her if she agrees with Durbin about protecting civil rights, not only of those who wake up every day to kill Americans, but also of regular citizens, you know, like those people who’s FBI files mysteriously appeared in that little office she used in the White House.

If the democrats want to make an issue of whether the Bush administration may have harmed one wiring hair in some scumbag terrorist’s filthy beard while they were trying to prevent another 9/11, I say that’s a fight the GOP should be willing to take on.

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This morning I watched the President’s news conference, but I had to leave right after it was over and all day I was away from the computer, tv and radio, so this was this first chance I’ve had to share a few thoughts; specifically,

It was HILARIOUS to watch the dinosaur media types wring their hands over the President’s “obstinance” about Iran. Why doesn’t he understand that they have stopped their nuclear program (suspend, stop–what’s the diff)? Why does he love war so much? Never mind that the same NIE that they now regard as being on stone tablets was the one that they have been using as a cudgel to beat him over head for the last couple of years(“wha wha wha-Saddam Hussein had no weapons of mass destruction, etc., etc.). Poor pathetic pinch-faced Martha Radditz of ABC who always looks on the verge of tears couldn’t understand why the president doesn’t realize that it’s fuzzy bunny and unicorn time now, as in Iraq is no threat. What about the children?!!!

The news reports noted that Iran suspended its nuclear program in 2003. MMM …what’s significant about that year? Could it be that the fanatics who run Iran looked around and saw what happened to Saddam Hussein and thought ‘maybe this might be a good time to suspend our nuke program?’ Can you say ‘Libya?’ Barry Hussein Obama can prattle on all he wants about the need to cease “saber rattling,” but it’s obvious that if in fact that this latest NIE is for real, it means that Iran looked around at the Bush administration’s determination to use force and thought better of continuing their pursuit of nuclear weapons. Simple. It wasn’t about “diplomacy.” It was about the Bush administration making it clear that there was a new sheriff in town.

Naturally our media friends aren’t the least bit interested in what’s really going on with the Holocaust-denying little Hitler running Iran. Martha Radditz and friends are more than ready to give him the benefit of the doubt. He’s not the threat of the Great Satan, George W. Bush, after all. The release of this NIE is all about one thing, the same thing that every story is ultimately about: domestic politics. At the risk of repeating myself yet again, let me state what you already know. Once again the democrats demonstrate that they are not qualified to be trusted with national security.

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Never doubt me. That’s what. I told you all on Friday that no one would be surprised to learn that the Hillary Clinton “hostage crisis” (I may hurl) would eventually be all about the fact that this pathetic wackjob was driven to the brink by having to live in this hideous country where he couldn’t get treatment for his mental problems. Naturally, he turned to the only person who could help, Hillary Clinton.

How about the fact that this Eisenberg goofball actually called CNN looking to talk to Hillary? C’mon, dude. They aren’t going to let you talk to the boss, although they might be willing to give her a message!

Finally, once again let me say, I would not be the slightest bit surprised–and suspect neither would you–to learn that the Clinton campaign recruited this mental case to strap on the flares and create this news event, not only to take the attention off the planted questioner at CNN’s so-called “GOP debate” last week, but also to give Hillarita the chance to “appear presidential” in a “crisis” (here comes my breakfast), but also to perpetuate the myth that she is the answer to the “health care crisis.”

These people are SOOO predictable it’s almost starting to bore me. It would if it weren’t so funny.

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